How To Attract An INTJ (Determined Strategist)

All INTJ’s have a desire for knowledge. We’re seduced by intimate emotional details of stories about other people. We don’t judge based on these stories since we have a desire to understand. Intellect is not the first thing that will attract an INTJ. Believe it or not, if you engage in their imagination and intuition, then you’re golden. Imagination allows us to understand stories; it allows us to feel a connection to another person by empathizing. Our intuition helps with imagination.

INTJ’s are system builders; we want to know the “whole” of something or someone. We tend to ask personal questions to find out the most important things about people if we have a romantic interest in them. We’re voyeurs–we want to know unique stories about people’s lives. The keyword: unique. If you want to grab an INTJ’s attention, then tell unusual things about yourself. Share your secrets.

If you can seduce an INTJ emotionally, then down the line you can seduce them physically. I can’t lie, we aren’t touchy-feely people no matter how much we may like someone. So our crush or love interest will have to initiate first contact.

Here’s the top ways to become attractive to an INTJ (I found these tips on a INTJ personality forum. I should probably join; we’re misunderstood. No wonder we need a support group hee hee):

1.  Realize that you’ve fallen in love with a nerd.

2.  Study your nerd carefully. She will have several interests. Pick a few and learn about them, enough that you can converse about them casually. Your INTJ will enjoy teaching you about the subject, and you can use that to your advantage, making her enjoy your company.

3.  Take time to learn the most common flaws in logic and how to spot them. Nothing impresses and attracts an INTJ more than being able to correctly identify flaws in logic. You’ll earn her respect and she’ll love the healthy debate/discussion.

4.  INTJ’s can’t easily identify flirting directed at them. You have to tell them in a casual way that you find yourself attracted to them and would like to try dating. If she’s interested, then she’ll definitely give you a chance. If you try to be subtle with flirting, she will honestly not get it. She’ll just think you’re being nice.

5.  INTJ’s basic form of communication is the logical argument. Engage them in it.

6.  For INTJ’s, staring into your eyes is the equivalent of making out, without the mess and bother. We rarely initiate physical contact. You’ll have to start off small, then we’ll get the message loud and clear that you’re interested in us.

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

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How To Attract A Leo Woman

For the most part, you can probably spot a Leo a mile away. She’s the one telling grand stories while everyone listens attentively. She can make a walk on the sidewalk sound like the most amazing experience ever with her dramatic flair. In order to get her attention, you’d have to do 3 things:

1.  Give her attention. I can’t even lie, Leo’s love being center of attention. If we’re ignored, then we know how to get a person’s attention (even if it’s by being annoying hee hee). Make yourself known, show you have an interest in her, and adore her. She’ll appreciate that you’ve noticed her and won’t take that lightly.

  • Leos love storytelling. We love talking about ourselves and hearing about other peoples’ lives. Ask her questions to get her comfortable opening up to you in a personal way. Offer stories about yourself–we tend to love gossip.

2.  Keep her entertained. I can’t even lie, Leo’s tend to get bored very easily. Sometimes we’re quick to redirect our attention to someone else who captures our interest. Find creative things to do or interesting things to talk about with her. If you can make her laugh, you’re golden. Leo’s favorite combination: a comedy romance.

  • We love engaging in a child-like passionate approach to life. We love expressing ourselves no matter what. As long as the guy shows he can be fun, then it’ll be easier for the Leo to show more intimacy.

3.  Flattery will get you everywhere with a Leo. I can’t even lie, Leo’s tend to have egos (but everyone has them, right?). If you give her sincere compliments–not the carbon copy ones–then she’ll know you’re interested. That you think she’s special. Because let me tell ya, she already knows she’s special hee hee. If a Leo likes you, then she won’t be short with compliments unless she gets a vibe that it makes you uncomfortable, then she’d find another way to show that she appreciates your company, that she has an interest in you.

  • If you ever want to give her a gift, to Leo’s it’s the thought that counts, not the price tag. It makes us feel special that someone took the time to think of us in a creative way.

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The worst thing for a Leo: losing the mystery or challenge. Once the puzzle is solved, Leo’s may go exploring for the next challenge or mystery. The key is not to lay it on too thick, especially when first meeting her, otherwise it’ll scare her off. She loves being chased. However, I can’t lie, we don’t compete for anyone’s affections or like to prove our worth. We’re awesome, and if someone doesn’t understand that, then they’re idiots (as you can see, we can be quite full of ourselves hee hee). Therefore, we never chase after someone. Leo’s are pretty patient and can wait things out. If it seems like the guy will never be interested, then Leo’s will more than likely move on to a new crush eventually.

Leo women are extremely loyal, sometimes to a fault. Once a commitment is made, she will stick by your side through thick and thin. She’ll never cheat. However, because of her natural charisma, men tend to flock to her; sometimes we’re natural flirts without meaning anything by it. This may cause jealousy among their partners, but the guys honestly have nothing to worry about. Leo’s think they’re the best and only want the best. So, trust me, she’ll put you on a pedestal–you’ll only have her heart. All she asks in return is for you to pay attention, flatter, and compliment her. But don’t get me wrong, Leo women tend to be independent and expect their mates to have an independent streak as well.

  • The only way you can truly know if a Leo woman is into you in a romantic sense (making sure she’s not just keeping you around because she likes your attention) is to ask her. We’re very responsive. My friends always tease that I don’t have a poker face. When we’re happy, we show it. When we’re sad, we show it. When we’re disappointed, we show it. When we’re nervous, we show it. You get the point…
  • Simply ask, “Hey, do you like me?” If she pauses for a long time or just mumbles “uhh..yeah” that means no. If she’s really into you, she’ll act giddy and have a big grin on her face while she talks about how long her crush has lasted, etc. Remember- Leos love to be entertained, but they also like to entertain as well. Her answer should be a grand spectacle of how much you mean to her–if she truly likes you and isn’t playing games. Or doesn’t just think of you as a friend.
  • Another way to test the waters without asking directly is to ignore her. If she acts upset or moody about it, then she’s interested in you. If she actively tries to get your attention, then she’s interested in you. If she doesn’t seem to notice or isn’t bothered by it, she’s not into you. If she hardly tries to contact you (especially if she doesn’t ask what’s wrong), then she’s not into you. Leos hate to be ignored by the people they admire.
  • Last but least, you can go to her friends and ask. If a Leo likes you in a romantic sense, then trust that her friends will know about it. We love to talk about the people who interests us. Who’s caught our fancy.

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

Wait. What? We Never Dated

I was minding my own business in my room when my freshmen roommate walked in, drunk. She was giddy because she had just partied with a bunch of guys I graduated high school with. Then out of nowhere, she said (well, slurred her speech hee hee), “I met your ex. He’s so sweet.”

Say what now? I never dated in school; I didn’t even get the courage to flirt with the opposite sex until my college years LOL. Intrigued by this new development, I asked her who it was. Her response: “Why ask a question you already know the answer to?” So, I had to play the guessing game for about 15 minutes. Good times. Good times.

Finally, she gave me a name. I told her that he wasn’t my ex because we never dated. She called me bitchy for not claiming him. Then, she told me everything he had said at the party about “us.”

I don’t confront people, but if I ever saw him on campus, I would’ve brought this lie up. Not rude. Not straightforward–no need for him to put his guard up. I would’ve probably joked about it to see how he reacted. I never got the chance because I don’t think he attended WVU (only his friends did, which I never saw them on campus either).

Fast forward, 10 years later. I joked with my cousin that she should invite him to hang out with us at my class reunion (she is friends with him). She told me to leave him alone because we could never be friends.

Say what now? What did I do? Is he upset over something imaginary?

I’m still disappointed that our class reunion was canceled indefinitely. If I wasn’t lazy, I would so try to plan one hee hee.

Any theories why he told my roommate we were exes (she said she told the guys that me and her lived together. That’s what started the topic of our “relationship”)?

  • Too drunk to think straight?
  • To get my attention?
  • A joke taken seriously?
  • Didn’t think she would really tell me?
  • Etc?

It’s funny because Bones had a funny episode where Vincent is going around telling all the ladies he works with that he’s sorry for telling his friends that he slept with them. That he had been drunk. I just chalked my old friend’s (ex?) behavior to that. Still doesn’t explain why we could never be friends.

Oh well, that’s one mystery that will never be solved.

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

Yawatta Hosby In A Nutshell

Do you think authors are hard to approach? I’ve heard through the grapevine that’s a stereotype for us. That we’re unapproachable. The majority of the writers/authors I meet in person are shy like me. We bond over our shared interest. So the question becomes: do you choose the profession or does the profession choose you?

I often wonder if I’m the Kristen Stewart of writers. Do I appear awkward in my own skin in front of strangers, even among friends? I’ve been a fan of hers since Panic Room, and I defend her personality any time someone tries to call her names. I know what it’s like to be judged, to be called snobby, boring, bitchy, ice queen, deadpan, without someone getting to know me first. Once we become friends or acquaintances, then they see the real me.  So, I sympathize with Kristen; she’s in the public eye–the public can be ruthless. At least with me, I can sit in the corner, going unnoticed, enjoying my peace.

Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve been obsessed with taking personality quizzes. I found my old notebook (started filling out pages since freshmen in college) with my quiz results. How approachable or unapproachable am I? You guys be the judge:

FRIENDSHIP

HR Department-31 to 40 points (33 pts)

Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted or talented, but modest…Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in friends, but equally important that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

How well do you get along with others?

You can make friends with anyone and are always interested in what people have to say, but you can also spend time alone quite happily and without getting bored. You don’t overreact to things around you, and people consider you to be bit of a cool cucumber.

The secret of the fourth coin

Friendship is what you’re looking for. You want your relationship to be balanced between give and take, not too sweet nor romantic.

What type of personality do you have? A kind and gentle person

Your kindness is your charm–you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

DATING

The squirrel

If someone who isn’t your type pledges their love for you, how do you handle the situation? You are considerate so they will only get your smile as a reply.

What’s your break-up style? Results: Let’s stay friends

Relationships are fine with you, but they’re not that important. You’d rather avoid the drama and have fun. So when it comes to breaking up, you try to get the ugly part over with and move as fast as you can into being pals. That’s a cool attitude to have, but be careful. Even the shortest relationships need a little healing time. We recommend taking a little break from your ex before diving right into friendship. Even if you don’t need the separation, your ex probably does.

What type of boyfriend/girlfriend is right for you? The artistic and confident type

You need a partner who quietly draws the real you out. Your partner must understand that you are very self-satisfied; therefore, you might not always be the best communicator. You need someone that loves to have fun, but also has the capability of concentrating on a great classic film. A creative and confident prospective is what you need. Stay far away from the needy ones!

What color heart do you have? Your heart is blue

Love is a doing word for you. You know it’s love when you treat each other well. You are a giving lover, but you don’t give too much. You expect something in return. Your flirting style: friendly. Your lucky first date: lunch at an outdoor cafe. Your dream lover: is both generous and selfish. What you bring to the relationship: loyalty.

PERSONALITY

How do you communicate? You communicate with your eyes

When you say, “I’ll believe it when I see it”–you really mean it. For you, what you see is a lot more important than what you hear. You don’t take someone’s words at face value. You judge people by their facial expressions, body language, and appearance. You tend to be quiet, but when you talk, you tend to make eye contact and describe things in colorful detail.

What number are you? You are 4: the individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself. You are creative and dreamy…plus dramatic and unpredictable. You’re emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt. Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel. At your best: you are inspired, artistic, and introspective. You know what you’re thinking, and you can communicate it well. At your worst: you are melancholy, alienated, and withdrawn. Your fixation: envy. Your primary fear: to have no identity. Your primary desire: to find yourself. Other number 4’s: Alanis Morisette, Johnny Depp, J.D. Salinger, Jim Morrison, and Anne Rice.

What color is your brain? Your brain is purple

Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasties are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places–or a very different life for yourself.

Check out your fear factor

You are easy-going. You understand the difference between fact and fiction. You like to research on your fears before getting nervous about it. This way you avoid unnecessary panic.

————-

So, from this information, do you think I’m worth the effort of getting to know? To see for yourself how I am instead of relying on someone else’s opinion?

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

Creative Writing Prompt #3

6/8/12 Prompt

Start a story with: Once when

no one was looking…

**This story is dark. Not meant for everyone.**

Once when no one was looking, someone poured sugar in Naima’s gas tank. During the pouring rain with no umbrella, she made the three block journey to her friend’s house.

Knock. Knock.

Kolo opened the door. He grinned, grabbing her by the hand to come in. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry. My car won’t start, and I didn’t have any other place to go.” Her teeth gritted together rapidly like an instrument solo. Naima’s body shook violently from the shock–her wet clothes stuck to her like cold cement.

“You know you’re always welcome here.” Kolo escorted his friend to his bedroom. He pulled out a white t-shirt, black hoodie, and grey sweatpants out of his dresser, and then handed the clothing to Naima. “Wear this until your clothes dry.”

She nodded, scanning the room. It felt awkward being in such an intimate, personal space after what happened last week. Out of nowhere, he had kissed her. He couldn’t use the excuse of being drunk because she hadn’t tasted alcohol on his breath. If circumstances were different, then maybe she’d give him a chance. But, it had felt wrong. Kolo was best friend’s with her ex Desmond.

She wasn’t interested in being “the girl” traded between friends.

He looked Naima up and down as though lost in a trance. She coughed. Why wouldn’t Kolo leave, so she could change?

Kolo met her gaze, his eyes full of lust. “Sorry. I’ll give you privacy.”

“Can I use your phone to call a tow truck? I would use my cell, but it got wet.”

“No worries, I got you.” He smiled, leaving the room without closing the door. Naima sighed and did the task herself.

She quickly changed into his warm clothes. She squeezed herself in glee, feeling so much better. Kolo was her friend; she shouldn’t be uncomfortable with him. He wasn’t crossing a boundary, so she should loosen up and try to get things back to where they were before.

In the living room, Naima was impressed with all the food. Kolo had a large Hawaiian pizza, breadsticks, chicken wings, and cups of soda spread out on his long coffee table. Her stomach growled; she held it, licking her lips. “Expecting company?”

“You,” he teased. “Come over here and help me eat.”

Naima didn’t have to be told twice. “Thanks.” She fixed her plate. “What did they say?”

“They’ll be at your car in between an hour or two. Can I ask what happened?”

Naima gulped. She didn’t want to tell the truth because then Kolo would probably get overly concerned. Besides, she didn’t want to be asked a billion questions of who she may have pissed off. Hopefully, it was a horrible prank by immature, stupid teenagers.

Changing the subject would be best. “Maybe I should go wait for them.”

“Not by yourself, this late at night.” Kolo laughed. “Changing the subject. Nice.”

Naima blushed, taking a couple gulps of her Mountain Dew.

Time passed where they enjoyed each other’s company. Kolo had been the perfect gentleman, and Naima was confident they’d get their friendship back.

She peeked at Kolo, who already stared at her. “We should go.”

Closing his eyes, Kolo sighed. “Or you could stay here.”

Naima bit her lip. Oh no, please don’t hit on her again.

#

Kolo stood in the hallway by the bathroom door. Naima had needed to switch back into her clothes. He didn’t understand why she didn’t just take him up on his offer to stay in his.

Kolo cracked his knuckles, grinning. His plan had worked perfectly. He was never caught spying on Naima through the cafe window. She had looked so beautiful, typing away on her laptop, hard at work.

Plus, no one witnessed him pour sugar in her tank. Good thing she never entered the kitchen because the evidence–container of spilled sugar and red tunnel–lay right on the table. He never got a chance to get rid of it.

Everything had been perfect tonight. She came right to his door just like Kolo knew Naima would. He licked his lips, anticipating how lucky he’d be within a few minutes.

He had tried to tell Naima how much he loved her but was shot down. Why? Kolo put her on a pedestal like she deserved. He would treat Naima better than Desmond ever did. Why couldn’t she see that?

“You okay in there.” Kolo took a step towards the door.

“Yeah,” her voice sounded muffled.

Within seconds, he heard a thud. Kolo sighed in relief, opening the bathroom door. There Naima lay on the tile floor. He knelt down and gently pushed her hair out of her angelic face. Kolo kissed her lips, and then picked Naima up to carry her to his bedroom.

Thank goodness she trusted him enough to drink the soda. No questions asked. Now, he could have his way with her all night.

He placed Naima on his bed, kissing her lips again. He smiled while running his finger all over her body. Then, he took off his shirt…

THE END

***Anyone interested in sharing their version of this creative writing prompt, please email me at Author.Yawatta.Hosby(AT)aol(DOT)com.

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby