What Would You Do For Free Chic-Fil-A Food?

If two ladies in a cow costume walked into a Chic-Fil-A restaurant, what would you do?  Applaud them?  Heckle them?  Trip them over?  Avoid eye contact?  Scream “Moo”?

For about two years now, someone has asked me to dress up like a cow with her on a certain day to receive a free menu item from Chic-Fil-A.  I want to say on Wednesdays.

I’m the type of person who doesn’t like being out of my comfort zone.  And, I weigh the pros and cons of every action before doing it, probably why I move slow.

  • PROS-free food (their nuggets and walnut brownies are so delicious)
  • could be a funny story to add to my Book of Observations
  • did I already mention free food?
  • could say I’ve done something most haven’t.  I like being unique
  • economy is still pretty rough, so people gotta do what they gotta do
  • CONS-free food would probably be something I don’t like; I’m a very picky eater
  • wouldn’t travel to Washington DC (about an hour and 10 minutes away) to do this

As you can see, the pros outweigh the cons.  So what’s stopping me?  I was tempted to do it (even though the person who keeps asking probably doesn’t believe me) until she told me it’d be a full cow costume where she’d be in the front section, and I’d be stuck as the butt.

Say what now?  I’m not claustrophobic by any means, but there’s no way I’m letting someone’s butt in my face.  I mean–literally in my face.  Could I even breathe in a costume like that?

I can picture me fainting from lack of oxygen and having us fall onto the floor.  The head and top half of the cow’s body would shake and try to get up while the legs, tail, and butt would lay lifeless.

When the medics arrive, they’d have to give me CPR.  When I’d wake up, I’d keep repeating, “I’m a cow.  I’m a cow.”  They’d probably have me committed.  I couldn’t really blame them; I can even picture The Journal newspaper covering the event on the front page.

The only way I would ever consider doing this is if we went to the Chic-Fil-A in Jefferson County, and if we didn’t have to dress up in a full cow costume.  I could muster up the courage to wear a cow head without it being Halloween.  So, if this person is still interested, let me know hee hee.

Then again, if I’d do something silly, crazy, fun like this, I should go balls to the wall.  We’d need as many stares and whispers about us as possible.  I’m talking customers snapping pics of us and posting it on Facebook, or making a video on YouTube–West Virginians know how to have fun too.

I can picture workers behind the counter questioning the manager’s sales promotion and calling us suckers for participating in it.  Maybe it’d even make their day or put a smile on their face.  Either way, they better give me my free order if I do this.

For the writers out there–if you get asked to do something, don’t automatically dismiss it.  You don’t have to do it, but it’s fun to think “what if…”  Let the scenario play in a story of yours.

  • I usually write dramas, but I’m sure I could fit this funny subplot into a story one day.  Thanks-you know who-for giving me the idea!

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby