Social Experiment #3: No More Plain Jane

  

So…this social experiment isn’t a challenge for a specific event. It’s more of an overall theme that I need to change, regarding my life.

In the past, I’ve purposefully dressed as a plain jane. My goal was to fade in the background–not to be seen and not to be heard. My reason: I didn’t want to attract jerks. I’m talking the crazy guys who act like just because they said hi or looked in your direction, you owe them your undivided attention. I hate aggression and/or passive aggressiveness just because some guy has his sight on you. Gross….

Maybe those types of guys seek me out because I’m a loner or they sense my shy nature. Either way, they realize right away I don’t play that game. Keep it moving hee hee.

I told my coworker Ashley this, and she had the best advice I ever heard. She put everything into perspective, and I really appreciated her advice.

She said that I shouldn’t dress myself down to avoid the jerks. I should always look on point because the nice guy I’m looking for may not notice me if I’m trying to fade in the background.

Beautiful advice.

So…my social experiment is to always present myself in the best light. Lately, I’ve been saying hi to strangers (even with a smile–a shy one, of course) and asking a question to get a brief conversation going.

I feel like I’m in the 2015 version of Clueless. I love makeovers, exactly why I bought this cool purple lipstick. It’s time to be bold and experiment. Wish me luck!

I have more social experiments to go. If you have any suggestions, let me know.

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

My Social Experiment #2: Spreading the Love of Books

Yawatta Hosby read this first 🙂

These words will make sense after I explain myself. Yes, I love being a tease haha.

  

Let me start from the beginning. I read Dean Koontz’s Odd Thomas after the friendly guy at Books-A-Million recommended it. The book was all right. Yes, only all right.

I let my writing buddy, Melissa, borrow Odd Thomas. She enjoyed it. When we met at Daily Grind, she gave the book back to me. Whoa daddy…I was hoping she’d keep it, but I always have a plan B.

Great minds think alike. Our buddy, Aaron, was in Daily Grind too. She handed him Odd Thomas. Caught off guard (haha), he asked, “Am I borrowing this?”

I told him he can keep it, return it back to me, or leave it at the table. No hard feelings. Then we proceeded to tease about the plot, genre, and characterization, making him scared that he may not like it (mind games are fun–the evil side of being an INTJ haha).

Since Aaron decided to keep the book and promised to read it, I think I’ve done my part in spreading word of mouth about books. I made sure to write: Yawatta Hosby read this first 🙂 on the first page, so if this particular book gets passed from person to person, I’ll be known.

Aaron is a cool 23 year old. First of all, he’s another ‘N’ who can talk about random stuff for hours and hours. Second, he’s the only non-writing person I know that sincerely likes to hear of my and Melissa’s writing activities. 

In fact, he gave me a cool story idea. I can’t wait to start working on it–and it’d only be right to let him read it when I’m finished.

Two social experiments down, only a few more to go…

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

My Social Experiment #1: Magic

  

I love sociology and psychology. As a result, I’m constantly researching to understand myself better. INTJs want to know “the whole” of everything–including ourselves. Research doesn’t just involve encyclopedias and scientific journals. It also includes people you interact with every day.

For example, I asked my Facebook friends to help me with my social experiment (I give myself a new one at least twice a week). They didn’t hesitate to help, which I really appreciated.

My question: What was your impression when you first met me?

Thirty-something friends answered honestly. For the most part, the men thought I had been:

  • MY FAVE ANSWER–quiet, but thinking and analyzing everything at same time
  • Intelligent, quiet, friendly
  • Very sweet person, quiet but never thought shy
  • Nice, outspoken, funny, very intelligent…decent

And the women thought I had been:

  • MY FAVE ANSWER–quiet, chill, observant, nice
  • Quiet, shy, intelligent
  • Shy but friendly
  • Quiet, reserved, observant

So sweet! I love compliments! This data helped me last night. Even though I’m shy, I still appear friendly instead of standoffish. This was good to know. I thought I gave off negative first expressions since I’m horrible with small talk, a requirement when meeting strangers or acquaintances. Hearing that I give off positive vibes helped me gain confidence.

You see, for my social experiment, I had to leave my comfort zone. I had to be social! No fading in the background like I’m used to hee hee. Last night was my first time at Your Hobby Place.

My writing buddy’s husband taught me how to play Magic after giving me a tour of the store. I’m all for card games that require bluffing, strategic thinking, and luck/skill at the same time. 

I was nervous at first because of learning something new. I have a weird phobia of not wanting to disappoint whoever’s teaching me. But once I got over that fear, I had a blast. The guys in the room were very friendly and informative. They totally helped me play my hand. Thanks, I couldn’t have won without them!  A guy joked that I had to get used to dealing with math nerds, and I was like “I’ll fit right in.” 🙂

All in all, I’m happy that I didn’t chicken out of going to Your Hobby Place alone. Trust me, my shyness was creating imaginary obstacles so I’d have to cancel. Dang on anxiety–welcome to a shy person’s world.

I’m giving myself five more social experiments. Anyone have any ideas of what I should do next?

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

When 3 N’s (iNtuition) Get Together…

If you follow my blog, then you know I’m always referring to being an INTJ. According to the Myers-Briggs Test my initials stand for: Introversion, iNtuition, Thinking, Judgement. I’m always researching ways to improve my life. 

One goal that I came up with is to give myself social experiments. I’m a bit socially awkward around strangers and acquaintances hee hee. 

Anyway, one night I hung out with Melissa at Daily Grind and we met a new buddy Aaron. I’m fascinated with solving mysteries of people–one thing I always want to know: what’s your personality type? If the person doesn’t seem excited about the Myers-Briggs test or took it before and doesn’t remember the initials, then I know he isn’t an N. If a person plays along, then I know he’s an N and we can have very interesting conversations.

Exhibit A. Aaron is a N like me and Melissa. N’s (iNtuition) tend to focus on the future with a view toward patterns and possibilities. Therefore, we’re open to discussing ideas and concepts. We can make up random ‘what if’ scenarios and talk the situations to death without getting bored.

I love hanging out with other N’s because they have an active imagination and I can feed off their creativity.  Being a thinker, I love hearing other people’s methods of thinking outside of the box.

Aaron, Melissa, and I spent hours talking about random topics. So much so, we basically got kicked out because Daily Grind was closing hee hee. I go there to write but sometimes it’s good to take a stimulating break.

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

How Does an INTJ Show They Care For Or Love Someone?

1.  General stiffness and awkwardness (DUH!!!! LOL)

2.  For no apparent reason, INTJs act friendly and distant toward you, leaving you confused. Just know that during this stage, the INTJ has found you appealing, but don’t know how to step up to the plate in letting you know

3.  INTJs will ask around to see if you like them way before they ever express any feelings themselves

4.  Will flirt with people they don’t care about, but will find it impossible to flirt with their crush

5.  Will research on personality websites to learn how to best understand you

6.  INTJs will make an effort to empathize and understand you, instead of being thoughtless in their social interactions with you

7.  THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. PAY ATTENTION–INTJs will reveal something geeky about themselves to you to test your response. To pass, act casual and/or share something silly about yourself. They want to make sure you won’t run away from their quirkiness

8.  INTJs will share stories of vulnerability with people they trust, especially after that person finished sharing something. If they do that, you’re golden

9.  They will make you take the Myers-Briggs test online 🙂

10.  THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. PAY ATTENTION–INTJs would be single if they didn’t have any affection towards you. So, if they’re in a relationship with you, then they definitely love and care for you!

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

Finding A Way To A Leo Woman’s Heart

Leo women are picky because they want the best. We’re patient and can wait for the right guy to come along. To speed up the process of winning a Leo woman over, here’s some things you can do:

1.  The favorite Leo combination–a romantic comedy. Make her laugh! Say sweet things to her and give compliments but in a half kidding, silly way. She’ll love the attention, and it’ll put her at ease because there won’t be any pressure on her end. Just keep it light and fun! Leos have a child-like passion approach to life–use that.

  • DO NOT stage a “big talk” because it’ll probably scare her away. Leo women love to be chased. If there’s no mystery of your feelings towards her, then she’ll more than likely be bored and move on. Or run away because she got scared.

2.  Nothing is too much for a Leo woman, so don’t be a cheapskate. If you’re broke, it’s not a deal breaker. You’ll just have to get creative in making the best date ever. Maybe turn your kitchen into a 5-star restaurant by dimming the lights, playing soft ambiance music in the background, setting your table with a fine linen set, and cooking for her. You get the picture. No matter what, bring your A game!

3.  Going back to #1–use the fact that Leos have a child-like personality. Leos love to express themselves in things; it doesn’t matter if they’re good or not. It’s the expression that counts. Be good-natured and share laughs while doing a fun activity like karaoke, bowling, or miniature golf. As long as you keep her laughing and smiling, you’re breaking that wall and finding a place in her heart.

For all the Leo women out there, is there anything else you’d like to add? For all the guys out there, would you like to share your experiences of winning over a Leo woman in the dating or crushing stages of your relationship/friendship?

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

You Know You’re an INTJ When…

I found this awesome list on These Are People You Know’s Tumblr. To see the entire list (I know you want to hee hee), check out the site. I thought it’d be fun to break down each point in how it relates to me. Here goes:

1.  People think you’re angry or upset when really you are just thinking.

  • I get asked all the time “what’s wrong?” and sometimes it gets really annoying. My cousin (the first time I met her) asked if I was the type to wear a permanent bitchface. I answered as honestly as I could, being taken aback hee hee.

2.  You can do the INTJ stare, that look of pure analyzing coupled with a slightly sardonic smile that makes people feel uneasy.

  • I love picking on people, especially when they least expect it. Sometimes it’s fun to notice a guy looking over at me if I’m in a cafe or library. As a game, I’ll steadily keep glancing over in his direction to get his attention, then I’ll just stare and stare to see if I can get a reaction.

3.  You silently listen to people trying to figure out how to do something, then chime in with the correct way while they stare at you stunned because they didn’t think you where paying attention.

  • This happens all of the time! I’m pretty good at tuning people out because I’m always inside my head, so people tend to think I’m not listening. I really am though; I’m good with multi-tasking. I always laugh when my friends or co-workers are caught off guard. When the quiet ones speak, you must listen hee hee.

4.  You look at every conflict situation as an interesting idea, and it pisses off the person you’re in a conflict with.

  • I’m very fascinated with psychology and sociology. So yes, I tend to think of life as social experiments. If someone is upset with me, I view it as a case study to observe his/her reactions and what steps I take to make the situation better. It’s more about being interested in the situation, instead of considering his/her feelings. But, if both ways tend to have a positive outcome (me apologizing if I was wrong), then I don’t see the problem.

5.  When you are having a conversation with someone and you can use more abverbs such as “however, yet, on the other hand” more often than you should because that is the “break” between different view points about the subject being conversed. Then the recipient stares at you blankly.

  • I’m the queen of using “however” and “but” hee hee. I honestly believe every explanation or opinion can be changed depending on circumstances. Since I’m constantly thinking of every possible outcome, I have to throw in those adverbs to break my opinion down. I think this way, but if this happened, then my thought process could change…

6.  When in a debate, your most commonly used phrase is “Could I get some proof for that?”

  • I use this phrase all the time, and it could be for something simple. My co-worker is pretty cool; she loves telling random fun facts every day. And like clockwork, I always have my suspicions and tell her to state her source hee hee.

7.  When you can effectively argue both sides of a debate, you just pick one for fun.

  • I love debating if it’s fun. I can think on the top of my head pretty fast, and I can be quite convincing even if I don’t believe in what I’m saying. I hate when people use debate to try and act like their opinion is gospel. That if you don’t agree, then you’re automatically wrong. With these types of folks, that’s usually when I automatically take their opposite viewpoint just to piss them off.

8.  You have 3-10 different conversations in your head with the person you’re actually talking to.

  • This goes back to I’m a good multi-tasker. 🙂 If only my real conversations were more interesting than the ones in my head.

9.  You root for the smart villain rather than the dumb hero.

  • Yes, yes, and yes! I always love the villains in movies, TV, especially reality TV. The villains make things fun. I hate being bored, and when people are in conflict, then it’s entertaining. The crazier, the better. Plus, I appreciate intelligence and charm, characteristics of a villain (not that I’d want to meet one in real life).

10.  When people say you always look like you are planning/plotting something; the association then often makes them conclude that you look evil.

  • Am I always plotting? I’ll never tell. But, I’m always thinking people are plotting, in turn, trying to figure out their scheme.

11.  When you just finished explaining something profound and interesting and the person who you are talking to goes “HUH?”

  • This drives me bonkers! I’m usually quiet, so when I take the time to speak, please listen. I hate when I go into an explanation (with excitement!), then the other person didn’t get it at all. It bums me out and then I’m unmotivated to explain it again.

12.  When you have a large mess but know exactly where everything is and people are amazed that you can find anything. You also go through cycles of neat-messy-neat-messy-neat. You are never rigidly neat, you are never overwhelmingly messy.

  • This is me to a tee. With my mess, especially with stacks of papers and notebooks, I know exactly where something is. That’s why I get lost if it’s not in the spot where I left it.

13.  Someone starts a sentence with “Why don’t you…” and you turn and give them a very mean look.

  • I appreciate advice, I really do, but don’t tell me that I should do something. Give advice and leave it at that. Don’t make me seem incompetent.

14.  You constantly watch people do things and create more efficient ways of doing them.

  • I’m an observer. I like to watch people (not in a stalkerish way I hope!) and from that, I can gather if they are doing something that’s more work than necessary. I especially study my co-workers. I’m not making things harder than they have to be. That’s ludicrous.

15.  Before every situation you think out every possible outcome and work your way towards the ideal one.

  • I don’t know any other way to analyze things. It takes me a long time to reach a decision, but when I do, I know it’s the best one.

16.  Someone tries to hurt you with words and you don’t feel a thing, in fact, you kind of find it funny.

  • It’s hilarious when someone tries to get under my skin and gets upset when I have no reaction. Sorry buddy. If you only know me on the surface, then of course, you don’t know what will piss me off. Hearing that someone is talking behind my back doesn’t anger me. Whatever. It’s just an opinion. Being nasty to my face is annoying, but I won’t shed any tears. I’ll just look at you like you’re stuck on stupid (while in my head thinking of every sarcastic comeback that I can say to get some laughs).

17.  You’re listening to someone you quickly jump ahead to their point while multi-processing their motive for telling you, how they jumped to that topic, what level of response will be adequate (verbal, head nod, etc.), and planning whatever it is you rather be doing…all before they even finish their sentence.

  • I’m a firm believer that everyone does things for a reason. If you’re talking to me, then it’s for something. If you’re bringing something up, then you either want my opinion or you want my help. I always try to figure out people’s motives when they’re talking to me. I swear I was a spy or detective in my previous life hee hee.

18.  When you really, honestly don’t care what most other people think about you, and are perfectly fine doing things your own way.

  • I don’t care what people think of me. I’m going to do me. If you don’t like me, then don’t hang out with me. If you do like me, then great. I won’t lose any sleep over someone’s opinion.

For all the INTJs out there, is there anything I missed?

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby