#8Sunday Weekend Writing Warriors Excerpt #33

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The Weekend Writing Warriors is an awesome site that allows writers to share their 8 to 10 sentence excerpts, published or unpublished, to the blogosphere. If you’d like to join or would like to read wonderful talent, please visit the WeWriWa website on Sunday, 1/26: http://wewriwa.com.

This week I’ll be sharing my urban legends WIP. A serial killer murders college students, one by one, based off famous urban legends. Here’s what I shared last week.

My excerpt:

…[Sweeney Todd] stepped into the elevator. Men wearing business suits and a few casual couples were already standing in it. How did this run-down hotel get any business? He pretended to text on his iPhone, not bringing attention to himself.

With no luggage or even an overnight bag, he strolled down the hallway, the lights flickering on and off, until he reached room twenty-four. He didn’t plan on spending the night. Why stay in a roach motel when he had a cozy bed he could sleep in?

Letting himself in with the card key, he switched on the lights. His eyes scanned the room. A king sized bed with dirty linens; a dusty dresser with a busted television; a broken remote; a blinking alarm clock by the bed; a carpet covered with black spots.

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

23 thoughts on “#8Sunday Weekend Writing Warriors Excerpt #33

  1. I like your excerpt. It brings an “ew” factor to the setting. Since we learn he’s definitely not staying the night, it immediately puts dread/fear in the reader’s mind because WHAT’S HE GONNA DO before he slithers back home?

    I’m ALMOST brave enough to post on WeWriWa . . . someday!

    • Hi Priscilla,

      It’s taking all of me not to spoil his motives already. I can guarantee it won’t be pretty…no pressure about joining. I think it’s cool to get feedback anyway you can. I may join Critique Circle again.

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

  2. Yes, with that description, I’m wondering how that hotel gets business as well. Another intriguing snippet!

    • Haha Ed. The last vacation I had was years ago in a condo at Orlando, Florida. I attempted to look for alligators in the neighborhood with my cousins because I’m crazy. Unfortunately, there was a time when I almost stayed in a crappy hotel at Ocean City. My friends and I promptly left to go stay at a nicer place.

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

    • Thanks, Karen. The room is definitely an eye sore. Haha, I don’t think Sweeney Todd wants to know what that stain is either 🙂

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

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