#IWSG Blog Hop–My Self-Doubt Hitting Me Like a Mack Truck Unexpectedly

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It’s that time again. IWSG hosts a blog hop the first Wednesday of every month. Writers get to discuss their doubts and fears they’ve conquered, their struggles and triumphs. Even though writing is a lonely activity, it doesn’t mean you can’t surround yourself with people who understand what you’re going through.

Showing vulnerability makes you strong. If you’d like to read more from bloggers who shared their personal experiences, then please click IWSG sign-up sheet.

March’s question–How do you celebrate when you achieve a writing goal/finish a story?

When I achieve a writing goal or finish a story, I do a happy dance. Then I sit down to catch my breath and pat myself on the back. Me, the biggest procrastinator ever, actually finished something! No just talking about it. No just stalling by doing loads and loads of research on my story topic. No just keeping it in my head but not putting it down on paper. I actually FINISHED!

After the excitement wears off, I always treat myself to a notebook or sketchbook at Books-A-Million. I used to treat myself to a chocolate muffin or a brownie, but I’m not allowed to have chocolate anymore because of the caffeine in it. So, now I treat myself to blueberry muffins or cinnamon buns.

I would love to say I’m one of those writers who loves the craft so much that I only write for the pleasure. If I said that, I’d be lying. I totally need incentives to finish a writing goal. An incentive can be getting to watch TV or Netflix after so many words written for the day. Or taking a road trip over the weekend if I write 3 or 4 days in a row.

Back in December, I was so excited for 2018. I just knew I’d create a better writing schedule for myself, making me more productive. I’ve failed miserably so far. Still being artsy, I’ve been sketching and outlining a comic instead. Doing that won’t help me publish more novellas though. I feel disappointed like I’ll never get out of this ‘publish only 1 book a year’ rut if I don’t focus on fiction writing. Unfortunately, I don’t really know how to get out of this rut…

I thought I had conquered my fear, but it’s definitely haunting me again. I’ve allowed my fear to cause self-doubt and totally mess with my self-confidence. I guess it started when my new release, Six Plus One, didn’t have a good debut. Now, I’m back to thinking my writing sucks even if that may not be true…it just seems like the advice of ‘when you produce more books, you get more sales’ isn’t holding true for me. Every book had a decent release except Six Plus One. I often wonder: what if I have bad luck–where for each new book I publish, I’ll keep getting lower sales?

I’ll get out of this rut, I promise…

That really felt good to share. Letting it all out may very well be the first step in getting my productivity back 🙂

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

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8 thoughts on “#IWSG Blog Hop–My Self-Doubt Hitting Me Like a Mack Truck Unexpectedly

  1. Sorry to hear self doubt has come to visit. You aren’t alone. I’ve been facing the same issues with my latest WIP as far as doubting myself with the writing. Not Broken has had lackluster results, I mean not that Fiendish was a best seller, but NB is moving slowly. 😦 It gives you pause and makes you reevaluate life.

    Hope your self doubt takes a hike soon!

    • Hey Meka,

      If it’s the story I read for you, I thought it was great. Steamy when needed to be, and your characters had depth. I was hooked on their conversations.

      I’m sorry to hear about Not Broken. Sometimes that advice of “it’s a marathon, not a race” is hard to remember. It just seems like there’s so much competition now. We get lost in the shuffle…but I know things will look up eventually.

      Good luck with everything. And, let me know if you need anything.

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

  2. Focus on the fact that you’re accomplishing things. Writing a book (even if it’s just one a year) is AMAZING. Don’t think about the sales. Think about your next project and how AMAZING it is when you’ll be done with that accomplishment too. Good luck!

    • Thank you, CGCoppola. I really needed to hear that. Finishing a book is a big deal because my mind often wanders. I’ll keep thinking of how cool it will be when my wip is an actual book. I drew a mock cover last night, and it felt good.

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

  3. Oh, Yawatta–I feel your pain. It sucks. We will never be thin enough, pretty enough, or be able to write fast enough. There’s always someone who has their act together more than we do.

    Okay, take a deep breath and accept it. I still have value, and so do you. Most people talk about finishing ONE BOOK and they never do. Or if they do manage to finish drafting, they’re too afraid to publish.

    See, you already have exceptional courage and commitment. Just keep getting better, bit by bit, and we’ll get there together. 🙂

    • Hey Cathleen,

      I’m taking deep breaths and counting slowly to ten…okay, I’ve accepted it. I don’t suck as a writer. I just need to work on improving my promotional/marketing skills. Until then, I’ll be okay with finishing my novellas and gaining the readers that I do get.

      Thank you for saying I have courage. I’ll hold on to that 🙂 You rock.

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

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