How To Survive First Contact With An INTJ

INTJs can seem standoffish, but don’t be afraid when you meet us. I promise we won’t bite. Here’s some tips to understand us better and to gain our respect:

1.  Please be on time. We try very hard to be punctual and expect you to do the same. If you’re late (even if only by five minutes), I know I get annoyed.

2.  INTJs have a strong sense of humor, often sarcastic and/or warped. We will make ourselves and everything else the butt of our jokes, witticisms, and nonsensical remarks. If you’re sensitive or get your feelings hurt easily, we’ll probably make you uncomfortable.

3.  Try not to be repetitive. It bores us to death, and trust me, when I say we’ll let you know that we’re bored. Unfortunately, I don’t have a poker face.

4.  In the privacy of our minds, INTJs often think the unthinkable and expect the unexpected. Don’t be offended if we hardly react to an “impossible” or tragic event.

5.  Please expect debate. We enjoy tearing things/ideas apart to understand them and to prove or disprove their worthiness. So, if an INTJ sees that your idea or suggestion has merit, we’ll pick it apart. The ultimate INTJ insult–ignoring an idea. That means it wasn’t interesting enough to deconstruct.

  • Important note–we’ll gladly argue a point we don’t actually support just for the sake of argument or to probe your viewpoints. INTJs can easily and persuasively assume a point of view we don’t support. Ask if you want to know for sure.

6.  We believe in workable solutions, so we’re very open-minded to every possibility. Due to this, we’ll quickly reject any concept or idea that doesn’t work–that includes our own ideas. When making a point, please be concise and precise. I know I get bored easily, so I need to hear the punchline right away. Please don’t beat around the bush. And, please don’t keep saying the same concept after it’s been proven false. INTJs believe in working forward, not backwards.

7.  For INTJs, truth is more important than being right. I know that I don’t mind admitting my mistakes and explaining why I did them. That’s the only way to learn.

8.  Expect blunt and honest answers. Please don’t ask a question you don’t want the truthful answer to because we don’t plan on hurting your feelings, but probably will. I’m pretty straightforward to a fault LOL. INTJs hate small talk, so if you want to keep the conversation going, ask questions that require more than a one-worded answer.

9.  Don’t expect an INTJ to respect anything you say just because you say it, even if you’re an authority figure. We could care less. I know I want you to cite your sources or give me a good enough reason for a certain rule. I always find a loophole. We bow to one authority–rationality.

10.  The most important tip of all–do not expect INTJs to care very much about how you view them. We already know that many people see us as arrogant and/or weird. I know I’m used to it 🙂

Does anyone have any interesting encounters they’d like to share when dealing with an INTJ for the first time? Or how you realized, yep so and so isn’t normal–those dang on INTJs!

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby

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15 thoughts on “How To Survive First Contact With An INTJ

    • Hey Monica,

      It’s cool that I’m meeting INTJs. I’m starting to think that statistic of only being 1 to 4% is wrong LOL. These posts are always fun to write. When I tell people my initials, they look at me like I’m crazy, letting me know they aren’t an N type 🙂

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

  1. I absolutely love an INTJ guy and find our conversations and debates addictive 🙂 If I argue a point with him then I kind of sort out my own views and mind. Wish I could bottle the INTJ personality. Life will make so much more sense in general 🙂

  2. These are so true. It also helps if the person tries not to “read” the INTJ especially when they first meet them. They will surely mis-read them every time. Unfortunately, this isn’t good when I go to an interview …. first impressions are everything it seems

    • Hey DeeM,

      I never make good first impressions. It sucks. My cousin once told me that I have a permanent bitchface LOL. Totally not true; she’s just never been around me when I’m having fun. I never thought about the other person trying to read an INTJ on first contact; I’ll have to pay more attention. A social experiment if you will 🙂

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

  3. I have an INTJ dad and this is pretty much true of him! He tends to have a permanent “I disapprove” face, and his and my mom’s biggest arguments happen when either she tries to explain an idea that he already said was wrong, or she repeats herself, and he can’t stand it.

    • Hey Tiffany,

      Thanks for stopping by. I’m happy you liked my list. I can picture your dad’s “disapproving” face lol. INTJs can’t help it. Debate is good. Even though we may act annoyed, we appreciate the challenge of debate, especially if the other person finds flaws in our logic. Another thing to research on. 🙂

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

  4. Love this! I also don’t like being asked, “What are you thinking?” Because I’m ALWAYS thinking. It would take way too long to tell you!!

    Yawatta, do you mind if I reblog this article on my blog? No worries either way!

    • Hey Maria,

      Most of the time I’ll explain what I’m thinking (usually something complicated or a what if scenario) but someone will cut me off. Don’t ask if you don’t want to hear the answer lol.

      For example, my boss and I were talking about long our arms are based off our height, even comparing lengths, and my coworker looked at us like we were crazy lol.

      It’s totally fine for you to reblog this post 🙂

      Keep smiling,
      Yawatta

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