“Show More Emotion, Damn It!”

What do you do if someone keeps demanding something of you that you can’t give?

My sophomore year at WVU I was a resident assistant for Summit Hall. Since I was only a year older than the people on my floor, I thought of them more as friends than residents. Ditto for them. That job definitely brought me out of my shell. I’m an INTJ, so it’s hard for me to express my feelings. I wouldn’t say I’m a heartless robot–I’m not a Shelton even though he’s awesome hee hee–but I do approach things in a rational and practical way. If someone has emotional outbursts, that doesn’t affect me in any way.

I enjoyed people’s company, and I thought I showed that. Doesn’t smiling, teasing, keeping a conversation, playing video games, laughing at jokes (whether funny or not) imply me enjoying my residents’ company? I’m a pretty private person, so I never really discussed my home life or anything too personal. However, they got to know me. If someone asks, I’ll answer. I never really offer up any information (I know it’s something I need to work on because it probably makes me look shady). To be honest, I don’t really know why I have a wall up, but if people are patient, they can knock it down. Then they’ll probably wish they never did 🙂

Anyway, Jahad (one of my residents) would always say that I need to show more emotion. At first, I thought he was just picking on me; like I said, I had a teasing relationship with everyone (residents, co-workers, bosses) in the building. I would just explain why I’m the way I am in a joking manner. Well one day, I was lying on the couch in the lounge. I was enjoying whatever TV show was on until Jahad came to bug me. I have a short attention span, so after awhile, the same conversations start getting on my nerves. He started in on the fact that he thought I didn’t express myself enough. Blah, blah, blah…

I can’t remember what I said, but it caused him to scream, “Show more emotion, damn it!” He was joking. He meant to kick the couch really hard, but instead, accidentally kicked my leg. I showed emotion then–pain. I wouldn’t be Yawatta if I didn’t tease him about it (frustrating him even more. But hey, if I’m annoyed, then I’ll annoy you right back). Let’s just say, I never let him live that moment down and I made sure to tell everyone about it.

I thought things were cool between Jahad and me, but all through the school year, he wouldn’t drop the accusation that I was emotionless, cold. I don’t know what he expected me to say. At first, I made light of the conversation. But then, after the millionth time hearing it, I started blowing him off, attempting to change the subject. In an agitated tone, I would tell him to stop trying to change me.

I don’t even mind peoples’ advice. I always take things into consideration–I am an INTJ afterall; we’re always trying to improve our lives–however, there’s a time and place for everything. And the wrong execution can totally backfire. After awhile, I was disappointed that he couldn’t just respect me for who I am. Who’s to say feelers are better than thinkers?

What do you guys think? Should I have cut Jahad some slack towards the end of the school year? Does he have a point–people should show more emotion, damn it!?

Keep smiling,

Yawatta Hosby


6 thoughts on ““Show More Emotion, Damn It!”

  1. Your “friend” was an asshole. To be perfectly honest. I’m an INTP, for what that’s worth, and I simply would never put up with someone trying to make me into what they thought I should be. I’m very private, and I have to know someone very well before they get to know much about me. If they can’t deal with that, then screw them.

    • Hey Catana,
      I like your perspective. I’m more of a three strikes and you’re out type of person. And it’s not like I could be too rude to him (A LOT of times I had to bite my tongue) because he was one of my residents. Now, that I think about it–the next school year he bugged me too LOL. Said I wasn’t paying him enough attention. I wonder why.

      Keep smiling,

  2. People should accept you for who you are. My philosophy is if you don’t like who I am or what I got to say then don’t talk to me. For me, if I engage in a conversation with you or some type of interaction then you are good. It’s when I don’t have any words for you at all. All that being said, if it’s something you want to work on then do it for yourself on your terms. I believe in self-awareness and trying to improve one’s life based on want he or she wants and how it could improve oneself and relationships with others.

    • Hey Anita,
      I’m an introvert, so I’m usually on good terms if I talk to someone or don’t talk to someone. Sometimes I’m just in my own mind. I’ve been saying I’d like to knock my wall down and stop being so private since college, so apparently I’m not improving in that department. I’ve just accepted that I’m not an emotional person. Now, I just tend to hang out with people who are like me, a.k.a. nerds LOL.

      I agree with you on trying to improve yourself or your relationship with others will help you in life.

      Keep smiling,

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