What do you do if someone keeps demanding something of you that you can’t give?
My sophomore year at WVU I was a resident assistant for Summit Hall. Since I was only a year older than the people on my floor, I thought of them more as friends than residents. Ditto for them. That job definitely brought me out of my shell. I’m an INTJ, so it’s hard for me to express my feelings. I wouldn’t say I’m a heartless robot–I’m not a Shelton even though he’s awesome hee hee–but I do approach things in a rational and practical way. If someone has emotional outbursts, that doesn’t affect me in any way.
I enjoyed people’s company, and I thought I showed that. Doesn’t smiling, teasing, keeping a conversation, playing video games, laughing at jokes (whether funny or not) imply me enjoying my residents’ company? I’m a pretty private person, so I never really discussed my home life or anything too personal. However, they got to know me. If someone asks, I’ll answer. I never really offer up any information (I know it’s something I need to work on because it probably makes me look shady). To be honest, I don’t really know why I have a wall up, but if people are patient, they can knock it down. Then they’ll probably wish they never did 🙂
Anyway, Jahad (one of my residents) would always say that I need to show more emotion. At first, I thought he was just picking on me; like I said, I had a teasing relationship with everyone (residents, co-workers, bosses) in the building. I would just explain why I’m the way I am in a joking manner. Well one day, I was lying on the couch in the lounge. I was enjoying whatever TV show was on until Jahad came to bug me. I have a short attention span, so after awhile, the same conversations start getting on my nerves. He started in on the fact that he thought I didn’t express myself enough. Blah, blah, blah…
I can’t remember what I said, but it caused him to scream, “Show more emotion, damn it!” He was joking. He meant to kick the couch really hard, but instead, accidentally kicked my leg. I showed emotion then–pain. I wouldn’t be Yawatta if I didn’t tease him about it (frustrating him even more. But hey, if I’m annoyed, then I’ll annoy you right back). Let’s just say, I never let him live that moment down and I made sure to tell everyone about it.
I thought things were cool between Jahad and me, but all through the school year, he wouldn’t drop the accusation that I was emotionless, cold. I don’t know what he expected me to say. At first, I made light of the conversation. But then, after the millionth time hearing it, I started blowing him off, attempting to change the subject. In an agitated tone, I would tell him to stop trying to change me.
I don’t even mind peoples’ advice. I always take things into consideration–I am an INTJ afterall; we’re always trying to improve our lives–however, there’s a time and place for everything. And the wrong execution can totally backfire. After awhile, I was disappointed that he couldn’t just respect me for who I am. Who’s to say feelers are better than thinkers?
What do you guys think? Should I have cut Jahad some slack towards the end of the school year? Does he have a point–people should show more emotion, damn it!?